Hi readers and welcome to my new blog!
My name is Florence and I recently made the decision to shut down my original blog as it no longer fits the person I am today and to open this shiny new one to journal my personal development and, hopefully, encourage others to just be open to contentment. If you have come to un-f***ing my life through my old blog, welcome! If you have just stumbled across it, thank you for taking the time to click the link and have a look.
So, a bit about me.
I am a lifelong compulsive overeater with anxiety and chronic migraines. In my own very poor choice of words, I am a hot mess. For as long as I can remember I have been on a mission to 'sort my life out' or 'fix my life'. These are throw away comments that I make for everything from putting a load of laundry in the wash to choosing a career path. These statements imply that whatever follows is supposedly life changing when, generally, I mean that I need to achieve a simple day to day activity. Repeatedly telling myself the above has left me feeling like either there are depressingly enormous problems that need fixing or that I have failed, yet again, to sort my f***ing life out.
A few weeks ago, I was in the car going through the to do list of things I needed to do that week to 'sort my life out' when it dawned upon me that I have been doing this forever and so far that attitude has achieved nothing but periods of depression and generalised anxiety. It was then that I decided I was done with striving for perfect happiness and the other deeply unrealistic standards of attainment I was setting myself and instead set out on a journey to discover contentment.
This is where this new blog comes in. I have seen in my own friendship groups and the world at large the way that our, frankly unrealistic, aspirations are stopping people from living contented lives. I really wanted to document the ups and downs of my own experience and share any helpful information I may have for anyone that comes across this and goes 'oh my god, I definitely do that' and just wants to abandon all the striving.
I will try to be relentlessly honest whilst retaining the sense of humour I am generally known for in my writing. I can't say it's going to be a straight line from berating myself to contented enlightenment (I have already caught myself in the midst of saying 'once I sort my life out' some five times in the last week) but it has to be worth the try. My current method is certainly not working for me so there really is nothing to lose.
Thank you for joining me whilst I try to un-fix my life.